why the why

Our CGA semester has been in full force for 3 weeks today. Right off the bat, we sent them hiking into the woods for 10 miles over 2 days, and then having them spend 24 hours in silence with the Lord. After having many conversations and reading tons of their blogs, I can say it was quite a stretch for most of them. But, for all of them, they walked (or limped) their way out of the woods with a deeper understanding of why they are in this new season, why they’re here in our discipleship school, and best of all they walked away with a deeper understanding of the Father’s great love for them.

I’d say it was a success.

But it’s not all fun and games, and it’s not all excitement and enthusiasm.

there are no bathrooms in the woods

There is a lot of hard work when it comes to running- or participating in- a discipleship training program. There is a lot of education and homework. There is endless support-raising which is so, so, so hard to do. You get it. Anything involving money is just the hardest. There are the countless blogs we require our apprentices to write in order to stay accountable to their families and donors- hard-working people who love them and want to see them succeed in their kingdom calling, and are supporting them financially because they believe in what these apprentices have been called to do.

Turns out, these are the exact same things we expect of ourselves as staff at this school and in the non-profit organization who hosts it. It’s a hard lifestyle to live as a missionary in your own country. It’s hard to literally and financially live off of faith.

So why do I do it?

It’s a question we’ve asked our apprentices to ponder as they are in the beginning stages of fundraising their tuition and living expenses in order to participate in this full-time program. We’ve asked them, as they reach out to their supporters and donors, to figure out why they are here, what they are called to do, and why they want to do whatever it is they’re called to.

We can share statistics and numbers and tasks that we do on the daily. We can share titles and promotions and hardships. But what really resonates with our own hearts- and with the hearts of the people we’re connected to back home- are the people whose lives change because we’re doing the doing.

So why the why?

Why have I chosen to be a missionary in America? Why have I chosen to work in a non-profit organization where I am required to support-raise to continue to be on staff?

It’s because I believe in what I’m doing.

I believe that discipleship is an ongoing process.

I believe that going on a missions trip for any length outside of long-term is not enough to change you. It can open your eyes and pierce your heart, but it can’t change you. Those of us who have gone on trips and then come home to fall back into old habits and patterns can all-too-easily preach the pitfalls of American comfort.

I believe in the permanent change and growth that happens in the discipleship school I help run.

I see it daily in conversation with current apprentices. “Ah-ha” moments happen regularly in the class I teach on Restoring Your Identity. I see it in updates I receive from graduated apprentices who are now all over the country and world, doing the thing they were called to do. Our staff frequently receives emails or facebook messages with incredible stories of what God has continued to do in them after their time of training and preparation.